True Pain
by Edir Xam
Summary: Oneshot But it doesn't have to be: Can you think of anything worse than losing a friend? How about losing your friend to an enemy? And what if the enemy...is you?


A/N: Well, here's a bizarre little one-shot that I came up with one night when I was bored, so I won't be surprised if you guys hate it. Well, anyway, here it is. Oh, yeah….hang on.

Disclaimer: If I owned Maximum Ride, do you think I'd be writing Fanfiction?

Chapter 1:

You think you know true pain? I don't think you do. It isn't a little scrape on your knee that mommy has to kiss and give you a Buzz Lightyear Band-aid. No, that isn't pain. It's not when your pet hamster dies, or when you slam your little finger with a sledge hammer. It isn't when someone insults your ugly haircut that you knew was really crummy to begin with but you assumed your boyfriend was nice enough not to mention it. It isn't when the teacher gives you a bad grade on your picture of the solar system. It isn't even when jagged claws are raking down your back, tearing up your flesh and getting your blood, yes your _blood_, all over the place. All over your torn shirt, your arms, the claws (well no _duh_), not to mention the floor. No, that isn't true pain at _all_. I know true pain, and that most certainly ain't it.

Though that is _very, very_ painful.

I tried to scramble away, but the blows came in a pattern now, each more intense and overpowering than the last. I felt so exhausted, but there was nothing I could do…nothing I could say…nothing that would stop the pain from coming.

_SHRED, RRIIIIP, SLASH._

My entire body was ablaze with aches and stings, the open wounds bleeding so much I feared I might shrivel up like a raisin. (Seriously, those things are so _ugly._) But I staggered upright, my vision so blurred that I could barely see his grinning face as his claws struck the side of my own face with such force that I was sent reeling with shock and anguish.

_Please let it end._ I begged him silently. _Please kill me and make this end._

I'm sorry Max, so sorry it came to this…I didn't even care as the Voice apologize to me, making me feel even worse that I already did (which seemed impossible, all things considered). I stared up into the face of my captor, my betrayer…

The guy I thought I had loved.

"Tired Max?" he snarled, his fangs dripping with blood. _My_ blood, I shall add. I tried to answer, tried to command myself to breathe…but everything hurt so much…so very, very much…

My reply was something like a muffled gag, which caused him to grin with pleasure. He raked my side once more, re-opening the temporarily healed wounds. More blood soaked my t-shirt, and I felt light headed. I shoved my hand towards the wound, hoping that the pressure would stop it some. I gasped as I pulled my hand back. It was coated in sticky, wet blood, a deep red…

I felt close to vomiting.

"Give in Max. Give in like I did. It eases the pain…makes it go away…" His voice was so welcoming…like the one I had known from before…back before they turned him into this monster…

"Nev—ver." I choked out, spitting even _more_ blood (god, I was so gonna become a raisin anytime now) and tried to gather enough strength to at least _pretend_ to fight back. He grinned wickedly, slamming his boot into my stomach, causing the air to leave my lungs.

"Please?" he asked, his eyes returning to normal and staring at me with intensity. I struggled to look away. It would be so easy…so easy to let the pain go…

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him, so close I could hear his pounding heart. Or maybe that was my own. Either way, my face was forced towards his jacket, with reeked of death and rotting fruit. I jerked back, the scent so overwhelming that my eyes had started to water. He refused to let go, though, and hugged me even tighter. I struggled half-heartedly, knowing I would never break free from his iron grip.

Did it happen gradually? Did it happen all at once? Did it take seconds, or eons before I felt my mind slipping into the warm sensation… the transformation I had only witnessed in my dreams…pardon me…nightmares.

I felt myself grow stronger, and the pain die off.

_NO! _I silently cried. _NO, NO, NO!_ I felt tears prick my eyes and run down my burning face. I went numb and limp (are they the same thing?), the heat beginning to fog my senses. I could feel nothing, except his strong arms, holding me…helping me…

I growled. Yes, I growled like some wild animal. The pain that had once left me was now surrounding me, drowning me, threatening to overtake me in an instant. I wanted it all to go away. Where were the others? Where was _my_ savior? I was supposed to save the world…

But who was going to save _me?_

I squeezed my eyes shut, suddenly feeling like I was on fire. Heat blazed through my veins, an icy sweat breaking out on my furrowed brow.

"It's okay," he said soothingly. "It all ends soon. You feel better when it's over."

_Then why does it feel like hell _NOW? I wanted to know. My arms felt like lead, my bones shifting, changing…morphing…my skin was changing too. I felt it...I could _feel_ it stretching, becoming new…oh, it was NASTY with a capital NA.

Slowly, after what seemed like millenniums of twisted torture and tormented thoughts, the gruesome pain ebbed away. With a shuddering breath, I was able to think clearly once more. Everything ratcheted into startling realization. WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? I had just….

"Good job, Max." he said. "See? That wasn't so bad." He sounded so sure, so confident. But I knew it was all an act. His grip lessened, and I fell back, wondering what was going on. Deep in the very depths of my mind, I knew what had happened. I opened my eyes just a bit, and stared up at the Eraser standing over me.

"Any light-headedness? Any nausea?" he sounded genuinely concerned. Well, I wasn't surprised. He said he still loved me… but…he'd betrayed us. Betrayed _me._

A tight knot formed in my throat. I shook my head, the tears forming on their own. They streaked down my face again, but like before, I didn't feel them. I simply felt numb. He offered me his hand, and I hesitated.

He had done so much to us. He'd tricked us, lied to us, betrayed us, and basically led to the death of the entire Flock. He had killed Fang.

But now I was like him. I had become him. I had become the monster of my nightmares, the very thing I feared most and worried about in the calming darkness of night. The very thing I was supposed to destroy. What would the Voice think if I were to…

It is too late Max, though I must say you put up a good fight. I think I heard the Voice stifle a pained cry, if that's possible. You were supposed to save the world, not destroy it Max! You are the enemy. You are what you once hated. What Fang once hated. You my friend, are worse than _him_.

I cringed. I had seriously pissed off my Voice. But it had a point. There was no going back. Not now, not ever.

I looked back at him. At his eyes. They were the only thing that was the same. They were the same dark eyes I had first seen, staring back at me through the bars of the cages in the school. The dark eyes that would light up with laughter as I grew annoyed with Nudge, or Angel. The dark eyes that could understand everything I was feeling and thinking.

But with a sinking feeling, I knew that he was truly gone. That his eyes were just a cruel reminder of the friend I had lost. For the first time in my life, I felt dread rise in my chest like ink, spreading to my limbs and poisoning my perspective. There was no going back…

There never is, Max. The only way to go in this life is forward. I tried to teach you that, but you never really listened. Now look what you've done, Max. Now look at the lives you've ruined.

I stretched out my now-clawed hand, and felt his rough, wiry fur against my own, paler fur. Blonder. Pekingese-ish, almost. He gripped it and pulled me upright, smiling. I wished he could be the old Fang. I wished he would have never left the flock and become this monster. I wished he'd never joined Ari. I wished he could just be Fang again. My heart sank further into the ink that was now my inner thoughts and feelings. I was truly gone, just like him. Maximum Ride was dead, along with Fang. I was a hollowed shell of the person I had been. I was just a monster, like Fang. I was an Eraser.

And for the first time in my short life of a whopping seventeen years, I knew what it was like to feel true pain.

So...waddja think? Good? Bad? Ugly? (No wait, that's something else. ) Anyhoo, review if you want. Though it would be really nice to get some constructive criticm. (I know I spelled that wrong.) Edir Xam...OUT!


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